For the last couple days our experience in the mountains has revolved around sorting, bed rest (pulled muscle in my back) and more recently the beach near La Ceiba.
Because we are not a group/team trip, our experience in Honduras is not task driven. We do have places to go and visit, but our pace is more about experiencing life on the mountain. Our service to Healing Hands aka.. Martin and Wendy Williams is more personal. Sorting rooms in the clinic, bagging medicines, whatever blesses them, all the while supporting and visiting Heather as she preps for the states.
Yesterday we took a bus into the city and Scott w/Missionary Ventures International came and picked us up. their ministry is based on the beach near Le Ceiba. Teams visit them also to do many of the same things that teams for Healing Hands do, except in different places.
We visited, toured and rested as there second story villa gives you a straight view of the ocean. It was such a place of rest and peace as Mrs. Susan had decorated the walls with scripture and borders in the main hall consisted of all the names of our precious Jesus.
Here is where my heart began to break. Suddenly Im torn up. Dreamless. Vision less. Empty.
A most bizarre feeling as I realize for all the aspirations and dreams of my youth were gone. What did I want to do with my life? Nothing. Where did I want to go? Nowhere.
For all the years Ive spent desiring to be in other countries or being sent out.. Im finally here, sitting in a hammock chair, swinging in the ocean breeze... and I have no desire to do anything. ........... HELLO? What is going on???
So I say to Heather Stewart just how I feel like blank canvas.. and she says..." God must be about to paint something." Thank God for good Godly friends :)
So here I am feeling undefined, directionless, empty. Crying out... Lord have your way in my heart and life.
On a lighter note.. great pics, great experiences, great people. God is forever awesome and His Glory fills the earth... no really.. Im witnessing it :)
1 comment:
You are in my heart and in my prayers. Heather is right though. God is going to paint an awesome painting on that blank canvas. It will be all about Him. It won't be about all the things that has been planted previously. I just want you to know I support you, whatever direction God leads you in. You were always my Samuel. My prayers and the prayers of those around me are offered up to serve you and the Lord, in Jesus' Name. Amen.
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