I probably started this blog four times... at some point before sitting down to type, something philosophical was in my mind. I lost it :)
There is so much going on in my mind and heart. Its hard to come to any destination for a set period of time and not have an expectation of change. Of course the ultimate point to a missions trip is to be of service to the community and to the people around you. Yet I am desperate to walk away a different person.
I'm a feelings junkie, I confess. I may want to feel it, but more importantly I want to live it. How do you relay that message to the Holy Spirit? I think if I scream it out the people in the mountains would be very alarmed :) How do you shake off the old and put on the new, how do you beg your Almighty Father to rain down and change you with water and fire? More so, what does it look like? Feel like?
We've read and even talked about the amazing missionaries, pastors and evangelists who walk with such authority in the name of Jesus Christ....are we willing to pay the same price they are/did? Are we willing to serve our Abba with the same time and surrender and it takes to be empty of self and full of Christ to carry that authority?
I think about this often, I pray that I am willing but my actions will be the test. Lord I need so much help becoming the woman of God my heart desires and hungers for. Help me seek your face and not a feeling.
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